What to Look for in a Christian Girlfriend.

christiandatingThe type of dating relationships we have today aren’t mentioned in the Bible. Marriage and betrothal is the only kinda thing you will find in Scripture. We infer from this that a  Christian girlfriend should be, most importantly, a potential marriage partner. A Christian man should be seeking a woman to spend his life with, not just someone to have fun with. If a man is not ready to get married, he should not be pursuing a relationship of this nature.

As a man looks for a girlfriend, the most important quality he is looking for in her (as his potential future wife and the person who will have a great deal of influence in his life) is salvation; Does she love the Lord Jesus Christ, and live in obedience to Him. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul tells us not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers. If a woman does not have faith in Jesus Christ, a Christian man would be foolish to consider her as a girlfriend and/or as a wife.

Having said that, just because a woman is a Christian, that doesn’t mean she is necessarily a perfect match for any Christian man. It is important to think through other aspects of being “equally yoked.” For example, similar spiritual goals, doctrinal beliefs, and outlook on life are all extremely important considerations. In addition, it may be wise to think through more practical things like commonalities, energy levels, and expectations about family and lifestyle. Many men marry women based on emotional or physical attraction alone, and this can be disastrous.

thThe Bible does give some guidelines about the kind of character a man should look for in a Christian girlfriend. A Christian woman should exhibit a spirit of submission to the Lord. The apostle Paul tells wives they are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). If she does not submit to the Lord, she will likely not see the value of submitting to her husband when that time comes. It is important to remember that the character of submission is a spiritual quality, not a personality trait. A sweet personality does not necessarily correspond to a submissive spirit, and neither does an energetic or strong-willed personality necessarily correspond to a wilful spirit. A woman will be submissive to the degree she is influenced by God’s Spirit, and she will be influenced by His Spirit to the degree that she loves Him and spends time in His Word.

woman_prayingA Christian woman should benefit and bless her husband. She is to be his helper, according to the earliest biblical precedent set for Adam and Eve. She should be a fit helper for his mission and call. If he is called to be a pastor or a missionary, for example, he should look for a Christian girlfriend who understands the commitments and feels called to that life. If he feels a strong desire for a large family, he should find a woman who feels the same way. But most of all, according to the call put on all of us to be ambassadors for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20), a man should choose a woman who will help, and not hinder him in this regard. She should exhibit a commitment to prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:16), encouragement (1 Thessalonians 5:11), serving others (Hebrews 6:10) and the wisdom that comes from knowing God’s Word (Colossians 3:16). This is the kind of woman that will be truly helpful to a Christian man.

  1 comment for “What to Look for in a Christian Girlfriend.

  1. November 20, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Thanks Pastor Tyrell, this is very helpful. Sometimes we are not very wise and we look for someone we can make a great couple with but what matters for marriage is someone we can make a great partnership with. Maybe you should also write something on the ways that one can use to identify the qualities listed above, because sometimes we jump the gun and get into serious things without the proper due diligence, just a thought.

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